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Sometimes I just gotta vent

2011-08-25T03:17:00.000-07:00

Ok, this is not something I usually blog about.

But.

KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

*deep breath*

*Ok. Start from the beginning so these people know what I'm on about*

Ok, So. I don't if anyone knows this, but I like the Sherlock Holmes series. Books, mainly.
The series being one of the most popular literature ever created, it's seen a fair share of adaptations.
I, being 19, have only seen the recent ones. Well. One of the recent ones. (And I've watched the trailer for the Hollywood Movie? But I hate how...everything's so...pretty...and glossy. And explosions. Boom. No. It's way too flashy) But- the modern world AU version by Moffat? The 3 episodes- that's what I'm talking about.

Don't get me wrong. I really liked that. Although not as much as the books, duh.
And I'm so so so so excited for season 2 (what will Modern!Irene Adler be like? Will the moors in which Hound of the Baskervilles have the creepy haunting atmosphere that the books put in my imagination? HOLY SHIT will Reichenbach Falls end the same way as in the books?!?!omgomgomg)

But the thing is, the thing that I gotta vent (and squee about)- I doubt ANYTHING will beat the books. It just. So much. ATMOSPHERE. the evenings in front of the fireplace so cozy- with Holmes picking away at his violin and Watson smoking a pipe and reading medical journals. Holmes deducing Watson's entire train of thought from observing his fidgeting. Broughams, carriages. Rolling over the gaslight cobblestone streets. Sherlock and his disguises! And inexplicable digressions. And how damn brilliant he is. There's well, contentment there- in that Watson is recalling cases from years past. Certain peacefulness despite murders and whatnot.

And they are so gay. So much. gay. Unsaid. <3
So what if they're older and uglier than modern adaptions. But they're so...austere. Which is awesome.

Here are the facts: Watson is the narrator, so let's pretend you're Watson

- You come back from the war. Find a roomie. He's interesting but strange (and brilliant, but you don't know that yet). But you click. You settle down into happy bachelorhood.

- You follow Sherlock on his various cases. He likes them bizarre as they come. In fact he's only really happy wrapped up in some mystery. But his brilliance still surprises you. Every single damn time.

- On one of the cases, you meet a girl. You get married, move out of your pad. Buy a small medical practice.

- You still keep in contact with your old roomie. Sometimes still join him on a case for old time's sake. But you've got a wife, and a business now- you slowly drift apart.

- Meanwhile, Sherlock becomes more famous, solving all these high profile cases. He turns up at your house one evening. Very urgent ?!?!?

- In great danger, you flee to Europe. Germany, Switzerland. Awww.

- Danger catches up. Sherlock dies (left a goodbye note)

WATSON IS SAD (and stops writing. CAN"T stand THE MEMORIES.)

3 years pass. Your wife dies.

Sherlock Holmes comes back.

- You move back in together. You are much older than you have been.

"At the time of which I speak, Holmes had been back for some months, and I at his request had sold my practice and returned to share the old quarters in Baker Street. A young doctor, named Verner, had purchased my small Kensington practice, and given with astonishingly little demur the highest price that I ventured to ask—an incident which only explained itself some years later, when I found that Verner was a distant relation of Holmes, and that it was my friend who had really found the money."
D'AWWWWW

LET THE ADVENTURES BEGIN.
(see- that's something involved, happening over years and years and years. Instead of episodic...snapshots. That's why I like book canon more)

The Conan Canon is awesome. For something written so long ago, it's even more awesome.

Long live Sherlock Holmes \o/

(If you've read the series and agree, w00t. If you haven't and have no idea what I was on about. GO READ IT. And oops, spoilers. lol)

Topic: self worth?

2011-08-18T03:32:00.000-07:00

Question question question and you get answer answer answer. This whole blogging thing is surprisingly pretty fun.

I guess for me, self-worth and confidence means pretty much the same thing. And it fluctuates from low to high to low again several times per week.

My formula goes something like this:

At a given point in time,

my self worth = (achievements) - 2x(failures),
where the actual value of achievements and failures are scaled so that recent events have greater influence.

yes, I know it's oversimplified. There are many external factors such as compliments, how you measure up to people around you, what qualifies as an achievement, etc.

But. at the core of it, these 2 terms decides my self-confidence at any given time. Isn't that pretty shallow and sad?

What determines your self confidence? Does your self worth formula have a '+c' constant in it? Like a sort of 'base self-worth' which is fixed, and its value is dependent on say, your looks? social status? how many facebook friends you have? Something that doesn't diminish no matter how bad you feel.

Regarding dentists, etc.

2011-08-09T01:12:00.000-07:00

Heya,

I feel all warm and fuzzy you guys bothered to type such long comments out. d'awww thanks peeps. (In livejournal you can reply to individual comments. Can you do it on blogger? I just put all my replies into one comment)

Anyway...Imma gonna be ~~FIRIN' MAH LAZARR~~ trying to blog more regularly, because most people don't post once every year.

So I went to the dentist (location) today...I don't think anyway LIKES going to the dentist (except for the dentist (person), because apparently they earn heaps of money), but the dentist (location) is on the top of the list for 'places i loathe loathe loathe' in between shopping for clothes and public bathrooms.

So anyway, I went there, because one of my tooth hurts when I bite down and I thought it was a cavity, and, like tumors, you really shouldn't leave them to grow.

(by the way, I really hate it when the dentist ask you questions while they're doing stuff to your teeth because, seriously, are they expecting you to answer?)

But relief! It wasn't a cavity! (amazing). But apparently it hurts because my tooth is slightly cracked right next to nerves. And if I don't stop eating crunchy hard stuff it's gonna crumble like one of those ice-shelves under the influence of global warming and holy shit it's gonna be painful

But since I don't even like crunchy stuff (soggy stuff ftw), I figured it's because I eat gum all the time (not my own gums, i mean chewing gum), but while normal people spit it out after an hour, I spit it out like 8 hours later when my jaw starts to hurt or I get a headache (by then the gum is really hard).

ouch

In conclusion, the point of this post is- don't each too much hard stuff...apparently your teeth can crack. And I now sorta maybe believe Ximay about that time when she was eating a cucumber and half her tooth cracked off (and she swallowed it)

Hey

2011-08-04T03:49:00.000-07:00

This post totally isn't due to the peeps who has been nagging at me to blog. totally isn't. at all.

On the subject of my life for the past year:
- is now in 2nd year of uni. motherfucking crapload of cbb,
- played a bunch of ds games. is sad that the ds is falling into obsolete-ness.
- OMFG ONE PIECE has taken over my life like an infectious disease OMFGWTFBBQ
- has grown 125% more cynical
- ...yeah.

On the subject of philosophical rambling:
(because you read my blog for this shit. right? right?)

My cohort (ie. people around my age), seem to be reaching an interesting place in life. I would call it a crossroad...but that seems to imply making choices, and this isn't really about that.
But we're really and truly out of high school, and although we're still studying, it's not all that insulated from the 'real world'.
Everyone's rushing to find jobs, earn money, gain independence while studying. It's almost competitive. We are all motivated to be successful as quickly as possible (or have surges of motivation to be successful). I'm hardly an exception...but it's still interesting to ask- why? what's the point?

I know I know- it sounds really obvious. I can think of many reasons, and there's undoubtedly dozens more depending on different people.
ie. success= more money, more power, more prestige.

But does having success equate to having a happy life?

I've been reading the Dresden Files series lately- it's mostly action mixed with magic and testosterone and fun...and the books are completely unrelated to this post. But it was a line somewhere in there that got me thinking.

Power, money, status. (and high marks, i guess) These give you OPTIONS- the freedom to pick and choose.
An example: a high Atar means you can pick out of a greater variety of courses. More money means you can choose to live in big houses.
It doesn't guarantee happiness.
They might contribute to happiness, yes. But that depends on what kind of person you are.

Now, in situations where the world is coming to an end and only the most powerful leaders and richest people get to escape- see 2012 (the movie), or where literally your life depends on climbing out of extreme poverty, etc- I'd say these qualities are really really important. But in this sort of environment (equality for everyone. centerlink support.), how important are having options, really? If you are happy at a $14 an hour, mediocre 9-5 job, how does having more options benefit you?

So what's the point, basically? Is having options that important, or can you be happy settling?
~~Does this make any sense, or am I just deluding myself?~~

uni. impressions. minimalist style.

2010-03-25T03:09:00.000-07:00

Thank you, high school maths teachers.

Thank you, high school chemistry teacher(s)

I don't know what I would have done without you. Committed suicide maybe.

The less said about that the better.

P.S. Thanks mum (but you'd never read this but, seeing how technologically challenged you are). Still providing room service for me post-HSC. It brings a ~~crocodile~~ tear to my eye.

Still kicking (albeit barely),

Stcod

Belated but obligatory fare-thee-well announcement to '00

2009-09-29T21:30:00.001-07:00

Dear MLC 2009.

Well, the few people of MLC 2009 who read this blog, namely..this ~~incestuous~~ blog circle.

It's been a pleasure to frolic together in the springtime of our youth. You all have ripened from tiny green kernals into juicy juicy fruits. I am sure you will sow the seeds of your experience into the fertile ground of the future. Thus concludes this incoherent, pointless metaphor that is farewell, but not really.

Ah well..what did you expect anyway?

I thank you for putting up and humoring me this past few years. I have no doubt been a self-centered and annoying prick more often than not, but I'm working on fixing it. Wish you the best.

haha.

how interesting

2009-08-26T00:21:00.000-07:00

Something quite interesting happened on the train today! For once in my dull, miserable life I have something to write in this blog.

3:48pm

I get on the train at Strathfield. The train is old. Life is uneventful.

3:52pm

I hear some lady mumbling to herself in the seat on the other side of the aisle. I disregard these noises and go back to worrying about the ext1 maths results.

3:54pm

Lady whacks me on the leg with her shoe.

Me: WTF?!

Lady: How dare you ignore me...I asked you to f**king leave. Can you f**king get out?

Me: ...no

Lady: ...

Me: ...

Lady: *starts mumbling about kicking asians* I'll kick you off this fucking train. Teach those f**king asians. *mutters about various other things*

Me: *watches scenery*

3:56

Train stops at Ashfield. I get up to leave.

Lady kicks me. More accurately, she sticks her foot out.

Me: ... *steps over her leg and exits the train*

nb: times are approximate

A less serious story.

2009-07-31T00:41:00.000-07:00

My belonging short story:

Once upon a time, e.g. last Monday, a girl got her boobs blown off in a tragic incident. What the incident is, we don't know. However, we can be sure that it is Very Tragic™.

The boobless girl wandered aimlessly around society, deprived of her squishy little puppies. This is her story.

Oh my, woe is me. I totally feel a lack of belonging within my high school society! I am no longer the most curvaceous one in my social group. I am no longer pursued by boys and girls alike. In fact, all the cool girls in my school laugh at me! Even the uncool girls laugh at me, and that is, like, so not on. If I had the guts to, I would totally, like, cut myself.

Oh, cruel world: I no longer feel like a female! It feels like I've been castrated. Except this is worse than being a eunuch, because I've got two (2) parts of my body cut off while a eunuch had one (1).

The space which had been once filled with twin spongy rock melons of tissue and fat is as empty as the gaping void I'm imprisoned in. In other words, very.

Such are the thoughts running through our heroine's head as she traipsed breastlessly to the shops. On the way, however, a plot device changed her life forever.

I was interrupted from my aimless wandering by a shrill scream.

"AHHHHH HELPPP PERVERT!!!11!11"

Like a pack rats scenting the smell of cheese, the passers-by, me included, swiveled around to the source of the scream. And my life changed forever.

That shrill scream's owner- O, what perfect perfect lovely wonderful puppies she had. Her gigantic shining golden beachballs bedazzled me, sending down shivers of jealously down my beachball-less chest. I've never wanted anything as badly as I did that moment, where my fingers itched to remove those shining suns and reattach them onto myself.

A young man beside me whispered to his mate- 'Bet they're fake. What a bimbo.'

O, what how could I describe the wave of joy and hope that washed across me in those seconds. In my relief, I hugged him tightly, breastless chest to breastless chest. In that moment, I felt a flickering spark of kinship, ignited by our common bond.

But he ran away. Oh well.

The epiphany remained, however. The way out of my current bereft state emerged like the sun after a thunderstorm

So our heroine went to the doctors' next morning and got some fake boobs, and lived happily ever after.

THE END.

Just to piss you people off:

2009-07-17T00:31:00.001-07:00

(do not own)

the highlight of my day.

2009-07-12T05:08:00.000-07:00

when most others are studiously studying and busily busying themselves for their trials, I have been ensnared in the evil clutches of a new vice- Animal Crossing!

It's kinda like a cross between the sims and harvest moon, except all your neighbors are animals and its for little kiddies (mostly) . It's really quite sad, but very addictive.

And yes, I realize that this is extremely infantile, but this totally made my day.

AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA

And if you're going wtf right now, the frog (yes. it's a pink frog called Puddles) wanted a catchier greeting, and asked me (the dude) to give her one(the blue bit). Well, it certainly is catchy.

*goes back to ~~animal crossing~~ studying*

"time...to die"

2009-07-03T02:34:00.000-07:00

dispight the tietle, this post is nigh ther ;bout blaid runna nor sewyside.

==============[

She remembers this dawn. It remained unchanged from 10 years ago. She still can't see the sun past the towering, jagged 'trees' of cement. Warm daylight still scattered by the hazy grey of pollution, sent from a sky of the exact same shade. No breeze dare stir the man-made soup of smoke, dust and grime, save for the displaced air from an unknown figure rushing by to an unknown destination.

She remembers the tinny dings of bicycle bells, the hoarse calls of street vendors advertising their wares, the sound of dough and eggs sizzling merrily in grease- noises coalescing like messy stitches that form the tapestry of life.

She finds herself following her nose, the trail of fried spring onions and eggs leading her to a unimpressive metal stall. A time-weathered brown face peeked out from behind a curtain of people, brows furrowed in concentration. He was selling breakfast, she acknowledged briefly, before fumbling in her woolen pockets for coins. Fingers finding nothing but lint and candy wrappers, she cursed loudly.

Her voice only travelled for a second before getting swallowed by the noises around her.

The smell was deliciously overpowering, thickening the smoky air. Her nostrils feel saturated with it, as her mouth became saturated with saliva. A throbbing pulsed in her skull, pounding with the rhythm of the vendor's hypnotic movement.

She does not want to walk away. She can not walk away.

The wizened old vendor lifted his head and peered up at her, his face pockmarked with flecks of green. Her body must have unconsciously moved towards the stall, the analytical voice in her mind remarked detachedly. It was drowned out by the smell, the wonderful aroma that she cannot get enough of. Inhaling deeply, she let the wholesome aroma fill her lungs to the brim, spilling out into her entire being. She hungers.

Nothing seems to exist around her now, the background noises muffled, as if coming from a great distance. She is a void, her entire consciousness bent towards one thing, the one thing she wants more than anything in this godforsaken world. The old man's face is golden brown dough, embedded with fresh spring onions and lightly toasted mushrooms. He seemed to sway and beckon across the counter.

With a resounding crash, she knocks the flimsy counter to the ground. The stall collapses like a tower of cards. Her hands move up slowly, tearing off a piece of fragrant, golden flesh. Red- brown liquid oozed out like thick tomato sauce. She found it a perfect complement to golden dough as she rolled it around in her mouth, savoring the taste. It melted in her mouth like heavenly ambrosia and she reached for another piece.

"Two dollar for one pancake, three dollar for two," a heavily accented asian voice cut through her senses like a rusty knife through butter.

"What?" she croaked

"You cannot pay? Not expensive!" the old vendor complained

Panicking, she rummaged trough her pockets again, but coming up empty.

"I'm sorry, is there anyway I can repay-"

Bloodcurdling screams rose up around her, bouncing and echoing inside her already throbbing head. She looked up, horrified.

The texture of his face had morphed from spongy omelette texture to leathering, wizened skin. What remained of his face was in shreds, blood running down from the torn flesh onto the charred torso below. A bloodshot eye hung loosely from a ruined socket, grey matter oozing sluggishly.

Bits of burnt omelette littered the filthy sidewalk around her as sirens wailed in the distance.

If someone can tell me what's lacking in this, I'll be forever grateful.

wut?

2009-06-29T05:20:00.000-07:00

A gray sphere.

Retaining its shape underneath my feet, the sphere exists in a state of limbo- held in equilibrium by pressure from inside and outside. The sphere is composed of a manufactured, plastic substance, its surface smooth and dry. Concentric circles decorate its grey uniformity, starting from the top, and progressing evenly towards the bottom. Although it may look similar to equators on a globe, these raised ridges only create differences in texture. The smooth and dry surface is interrupted by these minor ripples, which seem to serve no particular purpose other than ornamental.

The sphere is unstable, and thus rolls around its dark confines discontentedly. Full of kinetic energy that was transferred from my movement, it seems to sit menacingly, biding its time. Occasionally it squeaks nonsense no human can understand- even if they do, they cannot comprehend. The gray tediousness of the restless object seems to suck the heat from its surroundings. I disapprove.

Now it rolls back and forth in a feral rhythm, picking up months old grime in the process. Perhaps it fancies itself to be a caged beast, iron-wrought muscles wasting away from disuse. Perhaps it feels wrongfully imprisoned- a prisoner struggling against the inevitable. Who am I to say?

cowpoke. bzzzzzt

2009-06-24T04:15:00.000-07:00

blame this on qwertatious. ie. the cowpoke? which erm. pokes the cow.

bzzt.

~~I think I'd rather be born a d00d. things seem so much simpler as a d00d. d00ds game, like me. why? why are teenage girls so hormonal? is it hormones? or is it normal and im the one that's weird?~~

Ok, i really have no idea what to say, so I'll just write things down as things pop into my head.

List of excuses women make when they socially stumble:

- sorry, I'm on my periods

- sorry, I'm meno-pausing

- sorry, it's the hormones

- sorry, haven't had enough sleep

- sorry, so tired.

- sorry, coffee-deprived

yeah. the last 3 mean the same thing. and the first 3 means the same thing.

List of excuses men make when they want you to shut up and stop blathering

- sorry, haven't had enough sleep

- sorry, so tired.

- sorry, coffee-deprived

~~sorry, i have a small penis and i'm compensating for it by being an asshole~~

Dunno what the point of that was, it's kinda amusing to see all the sorrys' line up in a column so neatly.

~~laughs awkwardly~~

Whenever i see cchen look at a dirty pic/read smut i feel like patting her on the head. It's like..wow...she's all grown up now :D :D :D

And whenever i have no idea what's going on..like in heshi or gchu's heads these days (im referring to their latests posts), i'm like...cmon! i can't dispense so called ~~pearls of wisdom~~ erm advice if well...the advisor is in a state of ??? ! switch from 1st person to 3rd person within one sentence? a grammatical travesty!!1111one plz dont take me seriously, its like when ever i say something the slightest bit awkward, i tend to start rambling about the strangest things to cover it up.

the ratio of substance:ramble = 1:3.

Think of me of....an apprentice !normalgirlfriend. i need to gain experience in helping ppl with their problems. What will YOU do in the the name of education??? Here's a suggestion!!1 SHARE! Lemee stick my nose in your festering emotional pudding!!1 (yes that was meant to sound wrong.It's not a freudian slip if i realize it, muahaha.)

I think we're all quite short sighted about our own good qualities, but can judge other's good qualities quite accurately. to quote that self defense guy (i think) who said- " don't compare your inside with other people's outside.

of course, that is the optimistic spin on

We can perceive our own faults most clearly. Other opinions are... irrelevant! IRRELEVANT! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!! props to whoever gets that reference.

moving on...

my gum hurts. i think (2) teeth are growing at the back of the mouth. is it supposed to do that? shitshitshit i hate going to the dentist.

I did something really moronic in my music ext assessment. i put one of the pages at the wrong place. then i didn't realize until i got up to it...and realized that shit!wrong page! and i had to stop in the middle of the damn piece to find the damn page.

Also- I was stressing before about life after hsc. but since so many ppl are going future future future...i feel like i should be stressing more X_x

we have a really incestuous blog 'circle'- to quote qwertatious going on...where we each check and comment on each others blogs...~~like the 9th circle of hell.~~ joiiiinnnnnnnnnnn ussssssssss youuu knnowwwww yoouuuuu wwwaanttttt tttoooooooooo. It's funny. I used to worry so much about offending ppl..and now i don't care anymore. That's a lie. I still care, unfortunately. Just not so much. Progress- We're making it!

Ever did something you KNOW is bad for you..but you do it anyway?

Finally. Something interesting. (familiar?)

2009-06-13T02:59:00.000-07:00

Your's truly and her dad went back home for the first time in 2 weeks (long story).

Your's truly to get her STAT result ~~and to have a shower~~

Your's truly's dad to mow the grass.

btw, your's truly got to drive! BONUS!

At home:

EEEEE! MAGGOTS ON THE KITCHEN CEILING! And walls! I kid you not.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look

at it), your's truly didn't take a picture, coz your's truly didn't bring her phone home.

Above: unrelated.

Anyway, following investigation (by yours truly and her dad), the culprit was revealed to be some peanuts yours truly's mum left at home.

Oh, dear.

Yours truly's dad advised yours truly to PACK THE PEANUTS AND TAKE IT TO SHOP(noun).

~~TO SELL. MUAHAHA.~~

TO EAT.

No, seriously. He wanted to pick the maggots out and afterwards eat the peanuts.

~~remember kiddies: maggots are a good source of protein!!11!one~~

When yours truly advised him to burn it instead, he looked at yours truly as if she is crazy.

~~Granted, she is...but it's like the BLACK HOLE calling the kettle black.~~

But then again, this is the same guy who mixed up a lemon and an orange.

Moral of the story: never leave your peanuts ~~or any other kind of nuts~~ lying around. You never know WHAT you would find when you get back.

On a completely unrelated topic,

GUESS WHAT I GET TO WEAR ON THE PEE-SOLIDIFYING WINTER NIGHTS?

HELL YEAH!!!

And to end:

~~HELL YEAH!!!~~

2009-06-11T04:15:00.000-07:00

I have 2 exams looming ominously above my head...~~it's coming closer CLOSER OMGWTFBBQ NOOOO!!11!111111oneoneSTRESSSTRESSTRESS~~ and here I am, blogging like I have NOTHING BETTER TO DO.

Definitions of self-destructive on the Web:

dangerous to yourself or your interests; "suicidal impulses"; "a suicidal corporate takeover strategy"; "a kamikaze pilot"

Above: no correlation whatsoever

I have, as usual, nothing much to say, except celebrate my wondrous discovery of how to use ~~T3H STRIKETHROUGH~~. Such a shiny, shiny new toy *salivates*

Following the example of heshiyun, guru of all matters bloggy and hip, I present: a random vid made out of awesome!

BØRK BØRK BØRK

Newsflash:

2009-05-29T04:05:00.000-07:00

Oh My F*cking God. Newflash!
I hereby express my incredulity:
My father cannot tell the difference between an orange and a lemon. Apparently because he's colourblind?

Not rocket surgery, is it?

(Pictured: left- orange;

below- lemon)

The study of comparing citrus fruits: a f*king science in 1/3 of our household. Wacky, no?

This post is the bastard child of watching media watch and a lull in homework.

2009-05-27T02:34:00.001-07:00

Looks like I'm on an english bashing streak. Don't expect it to end anytime soon- results for the oral assessment is hovering on the horizon like a gargantuan swarm of locusts. It's coming to get me. It's coming to DEVOUR MY SOUL. I AM BEING VERY DRAMATIC. IN CAPS LOCK TOO.

Expect this post to be rambling and confusing. You see that x in the corner? Press it. It's not too late to turn back.

Sometimes I try to say something very profound, and the only thing that pops out is a cliche. The one that comes to mind right now is 'ignorance is bliss'. So true, so damn true. Yet over-said, cliche. But that's ok- because the only reason it is cliche because many people say it. People see the truth in that statement, short and to the point, a clean summary of the loss of innocence.

The person who came up with a 'cliche saying' is very wise. Sometimes I feel it is a chore, a constant struggle to communicate meaning. Humans are inherently flawed- the voice doesn't make sense, or the ears can't care enough to listen (i meant that metaphorically). So something like 'ignorance is bliss' that is short, to the point, carries meaning successfully- it sticks. It 'gets the point across', to use another cliche. These sayings are tools- specialist, store-bought tools we employ to communicate our ideas. Not custom-made or home-made, but professional, precise copies of blueprints that talented predecessors had discovered. And personally, I admire them for it. It also makes me feel so very young- because I have so much to learn, and so ignorant compared to others. (and don't quote 'ignorance is bliss' back at me. In this case, 'knowledge is power', and here I am using another cliche.). Yes young. You know the feeling you get when you look at this?

Kind of like that. Human history isn't even one millimeter on that scale.

Do tools ever lose their impact? It is also human nature to dismiss, discard tools when they lose their shine. When you overuse tools, they become blunt. (And boy, do humans ever love to overuse stuff. But that would involve me going into another tangent. And this cliche thing is already a tangent). And that's how a benign, nice saying turns into cliche. Take the history of music, something I am unfortunately familiar with. Music in history reflects the public favour at the time- what people like, ie. what is 'in fashion'. Each 'period'- baroque, classical, romantic, etc. came about because of the people's boredom with the previous period. I'm sure this is the case for other forms of art. I suppose what I've just spouted in the last 2 paragraphs could be summarised by this- "cliches r actually pretty wise, just sorta overused. so i'm allowed to use it coz i cbb typing up something that means 'ignorance is bliss'. so don't go- argh, she's so cliche. *sticks tongue out*"

Anyway, what I actually meant to say was that ignorance is bliss, so damn the english syllabus. The current unit- conflicting perspectives is pissing me off, not because it's boring and etc, but because the nature of conflicting perspectives makes it so frustrating.

I felt to urge to blog after watching 'media watch' because of this story. You don't have to watch it, because the frustration hardly came from the show, but more the comments. It's not a particularly fascinating story, certainly not one that interests me (it's about some footy sex scandal involving Matthew Johns, that dude from the Footy Show. I confused him with Andrew Johns at first lol). What IS interesting is the way people react to it. First 'Media Watch' presents the perspectives, in a supposedly neutral way, because Media Watch is the impartial watchdog, blah blah blah. And while it does give voice to both sides- it does condemn Johns and support Four Corners- the show that exposed this event. And then the comments- many of which are as long as this post, minus the cliche tangent, and infinitely more scholarly- many commentators are obviously expert analysts, some have ties to one perspective or the other. (They read the Australian instead of Daily Telegraph, that's for sure).

Some accused Media Watch of being biased, others siding with it. And debate. Oh, how much debate there were. The commentators typed up long, intelligent remarks- all expressing their own opinion while refuting the one above theirs. Some expressed their disgust of the offender, some were skeptical over the girl's apparent distress, some were sympathetic to both parties- the suffering they went through, I quote- "it doesn't matter who is guilty or who is innocent, because both victim and perpetrator - whichever is which - are being punished. Johns has had his name dragged through the mud and his career trashed. The girl has had much the same treatment. One of them deserves it, one of them doesn't. Which one is which, only a very small handful of people really know."

That I most certainly agree with. And surely you are wondering now- what's the point of all this, strangledcod dear? The point is- it's because of the debate- the entire, oh-so-democratic 'let's hear both sides of the argument, and then prove or disprove this and that" attitude that CAUSED the girl to become suicidal.

First the media/four corners and the 'footy show/nine/Johns battled it out over who was in the right. Then Media Watch swoops down onto the carcass in so-called justice- like a vulture (a judgmental vulture, lol), and then the commentators, like worms or something, scavenges the last vestiges, again, in so-called justice, trying to convince each other their opinion is in the right. But what of the carcass? Their privacy, self-respect, self-esteem had been ripped from their bones. As the battle dragged on and on, they were the ones that was hurting more and more. And the public? Anything for good juicy gossip. Even though I haven't watched four corners, nor the news articles, I am just as guilty.

DO YOU KNOW WHY? I f*cking realized this as I was writing that last paragraph, and figured I invested too much time in this to go delete this post. Because I have just expressed my opinion- just like all the commentators on that page, just like Media Watch. I am a hypocrite, of course, and by writing this, I am just prolonging the metaphorical battle. Lol, I'd be a decomposing microbe or something, but since my opinion aren't worth 50c in the grand scheme of things, this doesn't really matter. Teeheehee.

So thus is the corrupting power of 'conflicting perspectives.' Because at the end of it all, feelings are hurt, time is wasted, points are raised and considered, and debated and processed and baked and rinse, repeat. And we have no definitive answer to who was in the right.

'ignorance is bliss' indeed. If this issue was never raised, if no one cared or displayed no interest in it, nothing changes. Life will keep on rolling on, as per usual. But neither parties would be so damn wounded. (Lol, I just realized this also applies to war, opening a new can of worms- yep, another cliche. This is kinda fun.)

So basically? F*ck English. This all boils down to it. Conflicting perspectives is stupid and frustrating, and more trouble that it's worth. And now I'm sulking like a typical teenagers. Because you know what? I do understand what they're trying to teach us- belonging, conflicting perspectives, analyzing text, humanity. They are trying to make us more aware of the world around us, more critical, not just accepting of other opinions, but forming our own. They are teaching us to be less ignorant.

But f*ck that. Ignorance is bliss. I probably would have never feel left out my group if I wasn't made to learn about belonging. I would probably bitch about everyone, making me more interesting to talk to- if not for my attempts to be less judgmental- considering others perspectives. I wouldn't be so damn bitter and cynical (dare i say emo?). I would probably have practised violin for my lesson tomorrow instead of writing this long and pointless piece of shit. And I realize that this is probably what everyone goes through- this adolescent feeling of wanting to stay a child forever. But I wish people would stop sounding so superficial sometimes. It makes me lose respect for them. It also makes me feel quite lonely Because I know in my head that they're intelligent and resourceful and grow up to be happy, successful people. But it still makes me lose respect for them and I really, really don't want to turn into a bitter old lady hating the world and humanity and everyone and I'm feeling I'm going down that path and I dunno what to do.

Edit: And you know what the sad thing is? I wish my posts could be like gchus, or canadians, or heshiyun's, etc, coz they're generally not depressing, nor this boring or long. I mean, I'm a teenager right? Shouldn't I be talking about guys and shopping and complaining about my family or talking about how nice and supportive my friends are? I know what you're gonna say- you're unique, you're yourself, and you shouldn't try to be like someone else, blah blah blah, but it's so damn...annoying..for lack of a better word, to always be the odd one out.

So yeah, wish you pressed that little x now?

Delicious!

2009-05-13T01:58:00.000-07:00

How to Make A Bullshit Biscuit, better know as an 'English Essay'

Ingredients:

- Teacher Regurgitation

- meaningless sentences

- essay verbs

- synonyms

- Quotes

- Big Words

Instructions:

1. Pour 5 bags of Teacher Regurgitation into a large pot (a word document will also work).

2. Mix well with essay verbs, and stir until mixture forms dough

3. Add a sprinkle of synonyms for flavor. Make sure you use a Thesaurus to do so, otherwise, the dough may Make No Sense.

4. Separate dough into roughly 6-8 chunks. Make sure you have an introduction chunk and a conclusion chunk. No one knows why. Just do it.

5. Put into Quotes Oven (or a Technique-Example-Effect™ Oven if you can afford it) and set the temperature to 'maximum'. Bake until biscuits have expanded to a formidable size.

6. Meanwhile, mix meaningless sentences with Big Words together in a bowl. This will go on top of biscuits- hence 'bullshit biscuits'. Add a dash of piss for smooth consistency.

7. Once the biscuits are ready, take them out of the oven.

8. Copy-and-paste the bullshit icing onto the biscuits. Make sure to spread it liberally.

Congratulations! You now know how to make Bullshit Biscuits™!!! Serve them to your teachers, family and friends! (we take no responsibility for any nausea, migraines or Bad Marks which may follow)

Delicious!!!!

It's been 3 months

2009-05-01T06:12:00.000-07:00

3 months is a third of a pregnancy

Nothing to say as usual, just feel like being an attention whore (read this everybody, zomg, lemee tell u all bout my life, liek, iz soooooo interesting).

No offence, of course. Blame this on sleepy...iz 11:14pm...am frustraTed because i was trying to learn a shitty new piece and it sounds shit. Big surprise.

YOU PEOPLE WANT ME TO BLOG? FINE I BLOG. THIS IS WHAT YOU GET. Gosh am I ever overrated. How is this funny?

In case you're wondering, I've going nothing to say and I'm saying it and that's poetry as I need it. ~ Some avantgarde composer.

And since I realize that only words is boring, how CAN YOU PEOPLE BE BOTHERED TO UPLOAD ALL THOSE PHOTOS? SERIOUSLY, YOU WAIT FOR 5MIN FOR EACH PHOTO AND THE FORMATTING IS RETARDED.*burp excuse me. I will never ever get you people.

Big fat purple polka-dotted revelation time: I don't understand any of you people. How you can be so f**king normal. And it makes me sad coz ur gonna be nice functional people in society after you leave school and marry a guy or two and have 2.5 children and live in a nice house with a nice front lawn and a messy back lawn and a dog and 2 budgies and go shopping at an asian mall every weekend and buy soy sauce and dried ear fungus and cook for your 2.5 kids who you are going to send to a respectable school and they're gonna get into a nice high school and get a nice uai of 95.25 and blah blah blah. Yes, this is the way I think, and STFU who think I'm a raving lunatic because you asked for this and yes, now I'm making excuses. And yes I talk to myself at home because there's no once else to talk to and no one else that cares, and if a freaking lunatic right now, I'd say hey at least its sorta fun.

Not.

And there's my rant. Blame hormones, period, sleepiness, whatever. Just don't blame me.

Am I going to do one of those things where I insult people I know but I don't tell them that- yes, YOU, im insulting YOU..but I'm too chickenshit to do it face to face? Hell yeah.

Try and guess who you are

1. I want you to go to Cooks River and climb in and build a hut amount the mangrove trees and shoot the gigantic ibis that occasionally flies overhead and makes awful noises and poops on you. Yeah. SHoot they and roast them and make stew, and EAT IT, you crazy woman.

2. If there's music in hell, you would be the DJ

3. I don't understand you

4. Nor you

5. Or you

6. Or you

7. Fuck, why are you so hypocritical?

8. I was wondering why they make glue blue, and thought you would know.

9. Who are you?

10. If life is a function, you are inverse cosx. And I envy you for it.

Well there you have it, 5 min of weird humor. I hope my service is adequate, and I have served my purpose. Now laugh at the weird retarded wretch huddled in the corner here.

AND BITCH, PEOPLE, BITCH. IT AFFIRMS MY EXISTENCE.

edit: my right ear just popped. In case you wanted to know. And you do want to know, right? Because you are reading my blog? Well here. You know that my ear just popped. Do you feel satisfied, huh? Huh? HUH?!

edit 2: I just decanted my brain and came to this horrifying conclusion. I KNOW WHAT I AM. AND DO PAY ATTENTION. I AM THAT NOVELTY ITEM YOU PICK UP AT THE 2 DOLLAR SHOP THAT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING USEFUL BUT ITS SO WEIRD THAT YOU KEEP IT AROUND TO LAUGH AT OCCASIONALLY. yes.

life, et all.

2009-01-16T02:21:00.000-08:00

Erm. Hi. It's been 2 months, and finally a new post, huh? I'd LIKE to say something zany such as 'I got over writers block', or 'I'm back from HIATUS, peoples," but the truth is- I just couldn't be f****ed to make an another blog entry. And it's not even because I'm busy, I mean I'm on holidays for god's sake. I just couldn't be f***ed.

Well anyway, this entry is the result of occasional prodding from several people (read: 2). So if you want to read more entry, you'd probably have to prod me (in person or through pestering comments of DOOM™) to get me off my fat lazy ass in order to see another entry (which I doubt)

So anyway, as you may or may not know, I spent new years in Coff's Harbour with my family and some family friends. Since I really can't think of a more interesting topic, I'll just sum up a few of the highlights of my trip:

hehe, no pictures. Partially because my internet's slow and partially because I don't have my camera with me.

15 hours of riding a car without a cd player/radio calls for desperate measures. Since our 'retro' 1996 toyota camry is oufitted with a cassette player instead of a cd player (trust me, no one sells cassette music nowadays), my parents 'solved' the problem by buying a car fm transmitter. In case you've never heard of it before, you plug it into a mp3, for example, and it sends out fm radio signals to the car radio on a particular frequency (oOoo physics). So if you match its frequency, you can play the mp3, which broadcasts the song into the car radio, acting like speakers for your mp3.

So what's the point of the inane and lengthy explanation, you ask? Well, I don't know how close you are with your parents, but I'm guessing most of you aren't so keen on sharing your favourite playlists with your parents. It's kinda like...talking about sex with them. Well, maybe not THAT awkward, but it is kind of awkward, in a way.

Well, some things I learnt from the car trip include:

My parents like the soundtrack from Pirates of the Caribbean (good taste, I may say so)

My dad likes Celine Dion. Yes. Shock horror.

And Christina Aguilera's stuff.

And random classical music. But that's no surprise.

What else not surprising is that my mum fell asleep at the start of the car trip and didn't wake up until the end. Lucky (female dog).

Oh and I forgot the mention. I got a ipod nano for christmas(yay!). Which means I actually have to label my music AND find album art now. Oh teh n0es!

2, BaNaNaS!

In case you didn't know, Coff's harbour is the home of the famous "Big Banana". Scattered around Australia are various other big things such as the big pineapple, big merino, big prawn, big cup(mmm size C or size D?) and big rolling pin. Go figure. Apparently some (sad) people actually travel all around australia taking pictures in front of every single one. o.O

Anyway, it's just a gigantic gig for tourists to visit and buy bananas. Admission fee is about $20 to watch a movie about the history of bananas on some revolutionary 3d imaging gadget (which might be cool, if only it wasn't about the HISTORY OF BANANAS), also watch a frigging hologram video about guess what? bananas, a tour of a banana plantation in the backyard of the establishment, and at the end we got free bananas! And at the end of it all we got to visit a banana museum with all these interactive banana exhibits. Zomg yay!

And what's even more sad, my folks got obsessed with those bananas and ended up buying like 5 kilos. Joy.

3. Is it just a coincidence, or is there something wrong with me?

During our little trip, I've noticed something weird. And it seriously pissed me off. First night- we ate at Hungry Jacks. The order came 30min later. Without the fries.

And the next day? Bought a milkshake. They totally forgot the order.

Next day- ordered fish and chips. Came late. Again.

So my question is...is it just a coincidence, or is there something wrong with me?

end! (for now)

You knew this was coming...

2008-11-10T21:21:00.001-08:00

Eeeeeeeek!

Imagine this. In your house.

Yay! first day of yr 12!

2008-11-03T02:27:00.000-08:00

I feel rather motivated right now...first day of yr 12 and all. But I fear it would hardly be a few weeks before I revert back to my procrastinating ways

In other news for today:

has anyone noticed that train stations look like a lint brush doing its work?

Like the people...they are the lint. And the brush is the train. And the platforms are like the lint-filled surface- like a cloth

The lint begins on the cloth, and after you swipe it with the lint brush, the lint gets transferred onto the lint brush. Usually multiple swipes will have to be applied to get the cloth lint-free. And even they its just a bit linty.

Well, except the people respawn, unlike the lint.

Unless the lint is mutant.

And speaking of mutant, if I ever become a rich person, I want to fund a competition, and name it after me.

Basically, its for people who grow strawberries. Well, any vegetable/fruit will do.

People can submit their most mutant, retarded looking strawberries, for instance. And the winner will be the owner of the most grotesque, weird, retarded fruit/veggie.

And they will get some munnies! And all the mutant stuff submitted into the competition...coz you make jam with it...yup.

A mutant tomato:

Is there a point to living when you don't have a goal??

2008-10-22T02:03:00.001-07:00

see title.

Edit: dedicated to the clear one

My fuel!

2008-10-19T23:57:00.000-07:00

Hi there once again.

A new post after 2.whole.weeks. of non-posting?!?!!

Oh la la, shock hORrOr!!

Which just further proof on the theory that (my) inspiration is constipated. Long dry spells without any shit, followed by enlightened periods of shits and giggles!

Unfortunately, this post isn't very funny.

To tell you the truth, I can ramble on and on for pages, but that wastes both my time and your time. We wouldn't to do that do we?

Therefore, I prefer to include some philosophic (hopefully) idea about the meaning of life and such. Yes. I KNOW it is way beyond an ordinary teenager like me, but I like to think myself as clever, even though its a delusion.

So! This is what drives me:

Let's make a pizza!

I have a base made out of survival instincts. This is pretty much wired in all of us, and it drives us to eat, drink, rest, etc: ie. live long enough to procreate.

Now for the interesting stuff- the toppings. I'll use percentage, because things are easier to explain that way.

40% hope: aspirations for the future, ideals made out of daydreams. These are optimistic and positive, and all of us has it in spades. We all want to be someone better, somewhere better than what/where we are now. It drives me to strive for a goal, to improve and impress.

I fear the day where one runs out of hope. The truth and reality can be cold and cruel when one isn't covered by a warm blanket of hope. But hope can blind, just like a blanket can blind, when pulled over your head. So hold on to hope, but don't be blinded by it. (says cindy) Heehee.

30% fear: fear is the opposite of hope. Both are visions of future. However, a person who hopes sees a better place, and a person who fears sees a place that is far worse. Instead of striving for this place, we strive to get far away from it as possible. "omfg, if i don't study, i'm gonna phail!"

But in the same way, it drives me. Both hope and fear are strong incentives for action.

15% self indulgence: Nope, not very proud of this one, but its true. Perhaps I am only speaking for myself here, so don't take offence. I am a very selfish creature, but I am entitled to be, because only I care about myself first and foremost. Just like georgina cares about georgina the most, and chrystal cares about chrystal the most, cindy cares about cindy the most. Now cindy should stop talking in the third person because cindy doesn't like her name very much.

Self indulgence means serving one's own needs. When I need to play supermario rpg, I get my ass over to my laptop and gorge myself on supermario rpg.

But self indulgence is not necessary a bad thing- as it is, ultimately, fuel. (and fuel is hard to come by these days. Just check the oil prices). If you want something really bad, you work hard in order to get the mysterious something. You wont necessary become a better person, but hey, it makes you happy. Isn't that what's important in life?

15% peer pressure: I'm not only talking about the standard schoolyard peer pressure. I'm talking about approval from the people surrounding you: your family, friends, hot crush, whatever. It's about conforming to the masses, fulfilling other people's expectations of you.

You don't do this for yourself, but you do this so others approve.

I really, really, do not like this one. And its 15% of what drives me?! Oh, shame, shame!

I must cut this down. Easier said than done though, just like everything else.

Now bake the pizza in an oven of self-reflection (or heat convection. I dunno, you can tell I don't do physics). Yes self-reflection is oh so good for you, but painful as hell and gives me a headache. And all this self-reflection is giving me a headache. I shall go off to ermm...play supermario rpg...

...So what drives you? Just gloss over it if you care to comment, please? I find all this quite interesting.

Just humor me.

Here's another question..

2008-10-05T04:36:00.000-07:00

..this one is a real doozy.

What is style?

and it something that you can improve? If so, how?
Does it mean- to have a good style, you have to conform to society's ideas of style.
(score one for serena, damnit)

(answer me, ppl,)

Meaningless questions

2008-10-01T03:46:00.000-07:00

Some questions for the people who can be bothered typing up an answer.

1. if you pretend to be not pretentious, does that make you more pretentious? or would that be alright, seeing no one can prove that u are pretentious?

2. Is productivity subject or objective? By that I mean: are you productive while doing what you consider as important, but society doesn't?

3. I'm a parasite. I suck knowledge off teachers and peers. Are we all parasites? Or is that called learning?

4. critic's opinion vs. enjoyment?
Some movies/shows were reviewed highly by critics, but they fail to make a lot of money. What the critics considered as 'innovative', 'original' and 'sharp', the majority of the population simply doesn't consider interesting.
Sometimes the show might be satirical, but it flies over most of our heads.
Which is more important? Art or money?
What do think?

Wow, I just realized. Not one single post about my life so far. Go me!

Nothing much

2008-09-29T22:46:00.000-07:00

English is a Crazy Language, author unknown

Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one loose tooth, 2 leese teeth? One index, 2 indices?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo or a truck by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? Lift a thumb to thumb a lift? Table a plan in order to plan a table?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can a person be "pretty ugly?"
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another. Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who *are* spring chickens or who would actually hurt a fly?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on. Why is "crazy man" an insult, while to insert a comma and say "crazy, man!" is a compliment (as when applauding a jazz performance.)
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

XDDDDD!

EDIT!: How could I have written this masterpiece?! If you scroll to the top, AUTHOR UNKNOWN. Someone else wrote it. I just found it trawling through the internet, as with a lot of things ><

thoughts concerning psychology

2008-09-26T04:37:00.000-07:00

Hey all! How are you spending your holiday time?

The next few posts will probably be vague and philosophical and not too entertaining; (unless you are also vague and philosophical too)
Just a warning XP
Just in case you're interested, these ideas are the result of me sitting in my room all day. When my brain isn't learning something at school, it's churning out strange ramblings such as the one here. Ah well, at least I can blog about it. Sad, no?

We all know how complex the human mind is. We've got a whole science devoted to it, after all- psychology.
Arguably, the father of psychology is Freud. But I'm afraid most of his theories are way beyound me at this point. I just want to make a few general comments about psychology

Psycho-analyzing reduces a person's complex psyche to their past experiences and influences. Having done this, the specialist applies theories onto it. How does this doing the essence of an individual- their fears, hopes, complex personality, complete with whims- enough justice?
I've read a lot of stories and watched shows where a character is forced to see a therapist, usually against their wishes. Therapy is often shown in a negative light. Therapists are often as comic relief characters, incompetent, batty and irresponsible.
On the flip side, the character undergoing therapy is always thinking something to the effect of: "how can anyone else figure out anything about me, especially as I can't figure it out myself?"
Does therapy actually resolve any problems in real life?

I hesitate to call psychology a 'science' (not that my opinion matters any), as opposed to physics or chemistry. Why? Because anything to do with the human mind is so subjective! The so called 'theories' of the field are formed from the results of large scale social experiments. But the human mind is wildly unpredictable. There must be thousands of variables involved in making a decision, all these occurring within a few seconds. Is there even possible way documenting all these variables, investigating, and drawing conclusions from these? Not the mention, how do you compare these results with anyone else's results?

I believe the basic mindset of a person is similar to the basic mindset of any animal- survival. There's no point accusing anyone of being selfish: we are all selfish. Some people hide it better than others. These are the people who are not selfish. I mean, we all have instincts and reflexes ingrained into us to ensure we survive to procreate. That's human physiology.

So how are we different from animals? We are 'civilized', and this, and only this, sets us apart from animals. Good manners and civilized behavior are taught to us by our parents. Civilized behavior are what society dictates, because they enable humans to coexist with each other.

But think about it: civilized behavior is unnatural. Civilization is unnatural. It allowed us humans to rule the world. Society protects individuals from nature. This fact, by itself, proves that civilization is unnatural, because humans are destroying the world. How can THAT be natural?

On a day to day basis, we are all perfectly capable of acting civil towards each other. However, in situations such as the one in "Lord of the Flies", survival instincts kick in.
These instincts are the so-called "sins" that the bible warns us against:
Each individual would want the largest possible portion of food, necessities, etc. for himself to ensure survival--> society calls this greed/selfishness
Each individual wants the most suitable mate for her/himself, so makes self as attractive as possible --> vanity
Every other person are competition in the game of survival --> loving thy neighbours? HAH!
Defending one's own territory --> war and patriotism
And so on.
Can the 'evilness' of humans be contributed to physiology?

Which brings me to a disturbing conclusion. Are all those "nice" people you see at school merely pretending to be nice? Perhaps they are just ingratiating themselves to you so that next time, you have an obligation to help them out?

Humans are social, pack animals like hyenas. Are your friends your pack, then?

On a site note, anyone following the American election?

Weird stuff

2008-09-23T03:04:00.001-07:00

Ok, I haven't being doing much since the holidays started, except acquiring a facebook account, to the shock (and horror) of many.
I've being trawling through the internets, searching for strange things to amuse myself with. I happened upon this blog

It has the most interesting articles, but it's the biggest time-sink, so DO NOT click if you want to be somewhat productive over the holidays.

Fancy a crunchy wasp cookie?

And aren't these awesome?

Is this suffering for the sake of art?

And remember one of my previous posts where I (tried) to predict the world 200 years later?
Well, we'd be all living in these cool capsule houses, for one.

Here's the interior.

Ok, I'll end this completely incoherent and directionless post with a bunch of random analogies. (YAY for randomness!) I find them completely hilarious, being someone who enjoys taking things out of context.

Every year, English teachers from across the USA can
submit their collections of actual analogies and
metaphors found in high school essays.
These excerpts are published each year to the
amusement of teachers across the country. Here are
last year's winners.

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had
its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and
breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without
Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from
experience, like a guy who went blind because he
looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes
with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country
speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking
at a solar eclipse without one of those
boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli,
and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that
sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had
disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as
a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly
surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond
exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like
a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole
scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're
on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at
7:00 p.m. Instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair
after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like
maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed
lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other
like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at
6:36 p.m. Traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka
at 4:19 p.m. At a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with
picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two
hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob
informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a
steel trap, only one that had been left out so long,
it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil.
But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you
get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical
lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually
lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and
extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a
fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing
kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought
he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing
up.

End~

Obligatory disclaimer: pictures and analogies mentioned above were lifted out of www.darkroastedblend.com.
And check the website out! It'll make your holiday much less boring!

Ok. Here's another one of my whacked out theories

2008-09-14T04:43:00.001-07:00

So once a upon a time (ie. 2 years ago),

There was a girl (ie. me)

Who had not been corrupted and turned cynical by pessimistic people [ie. serena and (maybe) emma]...YET (ie. she will soon be)

But all this is irrelevant (haha...bet you didn't expect that!)

-------------
So I had a theory.
Each and every person is born with a certain amount of potential.

However, this potential can be divided into many portions, differing from person to person.
These portions are placed within a person's ability, also differing from each person to the next.

Represented mathematically, say each person is born with 5000 points (of potential).
Now through the wonderful phenomenon of genes, these points are allocated to the 'skills/ability' of each person.
For example, a person can have
Creativity: 15
Athletic ability: 5
Oral skills (nothing suspicious about this one): 50
And so on.
There are hundreds of such areas. From the widely recognized and appreciated (beauty, athletic ability, creativity) to the not so much (perseverance, devotion, shrewdness) After all, these characteristics make up a large part of someone's personality.
These values are decided before you are born. They can not be changed, increased or decreased. You are stuck with your set.
However, every person's set add up to 5000

Now...fast forward to reality. (ouch)
We see that some people are successful and famous, others unnoticed, run-of-the-mill, some ridiculed.

If all people are born with 5000 points of potential, why the inequality?

In the great 'tallying up' of your worth, there are a few factors which can cause your 5000 points to grow at different speeds.

1. Diligence. This is the most obvious one. This means a person has to be receptive to learning new things, improving their ability, etc. One has to put in effort in order to improve themselves as a person, and experience personal growth. This is where "practice makes perfect" comes in. Simply put, a person must learn/study and practice in order to improve their skill.

2. Specialization. Even if a person lives for 1000 years, they can not possibly master every single skill. Therefore, they must put time and energy into improving skills which they show the most potential for. However, this is easier said than done, since no one knows where their potential lies unless they tried it for themselves. Following your interests should usually lead you to one. Some can find skills which is both interesting to an individual as well as the said individual having natural talent for it. The people who can improve that particular skill end up being more successful.

3. Time. Also a no-brainer. People who uses their time more efficiently can improve themselves more, leading to more success

4. Opportunity. This one is purely based on luck. No individual can control whether or not they are given opportunities. Therefore, most people look for ones. Some people can recognize an opportunity when its offered and take it. Others can not, and so miss out. Opportunities define how successful someone is in life.

And so ends my theory.

Why blog about it? I'm not sure. If the theory is true, life can be a lot more comforting. All you have to know is that you are equal to everyone else in terms of amount of natural talent. Each person's potential lies in areas which are different from those around them. However, the amount of potential is always the same.
So what can you do consider the factors which you can influence- diligence, specialization, etc.
And improve.

I find that sorta comforting. Perhaps I am delusional to think such a thing. There is no point in dwelling someone is better than you at something. Simply find a skill which you can improve.

any case, please do tell new whether you agree not. And I'll be delighted to debate about it with someone...noel...?

Anyway, here is the theory. Note: its JUST a theory.

Distant future?

2008-09-10T04:09:00.000-07:00

Cindy peers into "chrystal" ball.
Cindy sees the world in 200 years time...

Food will always be in the form of capsules...perfectly balanced and nutritious. Different varieties will cater for people with special dietary needs. Everything will be artificially flavored and colored, so that the taste is only vaguely like the food it imitates. People can buy whole whole cans of a particular flavor, and leave them at work. No more worries! Convenience is the key!
Because no one will have time to sit down at a table and spend 15 minutes refueling. Actual meals will be seen as gourmet and are indulgences which only the rich can partake in.

Many people will have chips embedded into their flesh for a number of different purposes. The chips can communicate to the nervous system, for example, to send electric currents to the brain. This can stimulate emotions, or possibly states of mind. When you get depressed, simply press a button on a remote, which triggers your chip to simulate 'happiness'. When you're tired, send messages to your brain to make it work overtime! Its cheaper than drugs, and doesn't affect your health too much. Unless you overuse it and fry your brain...

Following on that vein, perhaps there can be other chips which contains 'data' in the form of currents (warning: no research done by me), which you can activate. These data contains knowledge- be it maths, a book, or even how to juggle- all you need to do is press a button- no reading required. And voila! Instant mastery. Beware though, overuse can addle your brain, send you insane, or even fry it completely. Yay.

There will be no need to walk at all. Shopping? Do it over the internet (which will surely grow larger, more powerful, but even less moderated). Exercise? Your home will have machines built in already to cater for your every need. Transportation? Vehicles (I'm not going to even try to imagine how different and advanced they will be in 200 years time), will be a part of every household so that every person can get from A to B without standing up.
They will run on renewable energy (petrol and gas are only mentioned in history books and muesums). But there will always be a shortage of energy. That's why all citizens are required to spend a few days per month performing 'civic duty'. That is- going to the local energy facility and working together to turn turbines, in order to create electricity.

Science will have made great advances- but inevitably, new technologies will become so expensive and 'wasteful' to produce- resulting in scientists abandoning them.
The government- surely democracy will have evolved to something even more convoluted. Government operations will be kept securely confidential to prevent anyone from questioning them. Much funds will go towards trying to control the population- which will have grown exponentially. Lifespan will have increased dramatically, with the aid of technology. However, all people over 60 will be euthanized (painlessly, of course), to keep the population under control.

By this time, animals will be considered a rarity. A few of each species will be kept and bred in captivity- providing a source of entertainment.

The movie industry (Hollywood as we know it today) and books will have died, after every single conceivable plot has been written or turned into film. New and innovative ideas are few and far between- those few ideas will be featured in the media, and the creators will be turned famous. Art and music will also be only the subjects of history books. People will be always searching for more immersive experiences- such as 3D simulation.

Games will have evolved so that players can be completely immersed. That is, instead of only utilizing 2 senses- sight and sound, all 5 senses are involved. Graphics will improve to completely resemble reality, and players can interact with the environment directly. This is done by stimulating the brain with currents, presenting it with a false reality- but so sophisticated to be perceived as real. Players can spend years of their lives within the man-made reality, living an alternate life. These games will, of course, be filled with subliminal advertisement and government propaganda.
News, tv shows,etc. will utilize this 3D simulation as well.

...Apocalypse is coming

Things I want to achieve in the next 6 months

2008-09-04T04:31:00.000-07:00

Note to readers, which may or may not exist: This post isn't particularly entertaining.

It's a little mind exercise I'm trying out...and to motivate myself.

So...here goes:

Things I want to achieve in the next 6 months:

1. Make a dent on wall with a poker card (thrown)

2. Master Zigeunerweisen

3. Improve my reading speed

4. Learn to juggle

5. Be up to date with current news for the next 6 months

6. Write a story and post it on here

7. Write a poem and post it on here

8. Play the last 3 pages of Carmen with piano accompaniment

9. Improve my memory

10. Sleep for 8 hours everyday

11. Eat more healthily

12. Figure out composition

13. Get through ~1/2 of Kreutzer

14. Eat breakfast everyday

15. Strength my wrist more

16. Cut down on fanfiction

17. Read RSS feeds

18. Read NewScientist

19. Get bike

20. Be tethered to reality a lot more

21. Clean my laptop

22. Aim to not lose any stationary

23. Do more 100 lists like this

25. Update this blog regularly

26. Relax muscles when playing violin

27. Be more optimistic

28. Decrease self-loathing

29. Memorize physical routes

30. Aim to not fight with parents

31. Socialize more online

32. Socialize more in real life

33. Do homework on the day its set (if possible)

34. Frown less

35. Aim to not get any serious injuries

36. Drink more water everyday

37. Do not lose the squishy ball

38. Sit up straight when using laptop

39. Practise violin standing up

40. learn different methods and improve shifting

41. Learn different kinds of vibrato

42. Learn different methods and improve intonation

43. Try to be more decisive

44. Try to be more confident

45. Try not to dwell too much on past events

46. Maybe get a new violin?

47. Try to practise violin everyday (break it into sessions)

48. Improve my handwriting speed

49. Be more knowledgeable about a range of subjects (and remember them)

50. Build something grand Second Life (?)

51. Read as many books with the time I have

52. Figure out how to use musicoverage.com

53. Read the more popular articles on bookmarked sites (and follow through on their advice)

54. Improve study efficiency

55. Use my left hand better

56. Try to be less self-conscious

57. Learn how to meditate

58. Improve hearing

59. Keep glasses clean

60. Improve overall hygiene

61. Keep up to date with popular culture

62. Decrease waffling

63. Structure my mind

64. Figure out Blender basics

65. Figure out Blogspot

66. Re-organize my computer

67. Back up hard drive

68. Improve dental hygiene

69. Use 'pegging' system to remember things

70. Get to know people

71. Make more acquaintances

72. Be more outgoing

73. Improve typing speed/accuracy

74. Figure out photoshop

75. Be more active

76. Exercise more

77. Be more focused when needed

78. Form opinions and defend them

79. Learn more brainteasers and remember them

80. Stop looking like a vegetable all the time

81. Learn to lie in the bed I've made (metaphorically)

82. Make shoes less stinky

83. Compose a piece for fun

84. Be more efficient with time

85. Be less dependent on mp3

86. Learn to think critically

87. Be more motivated

88. Be more approachable

89. Learn to be less bothered by the heat

90. Vary my routines to make them more interesting

91. Read and remember all articles on litemind

92. Make entertaining posts on this blog

93. Learn conviction

94. Learn more quotes (and remember them)

95. Improve social skills and wittiness

96. Start arguments with people and win them

97. Access verbs from vocabulary quickly

98. Write an essay for fun

99. Find ways to get inspired, then get inspired

100. Learn to fake laughter

Phew....did these in one sitting.

Now I can look back on this post when I am procrastinating.

If you actually read these- holy f**king cow skewered on a shish kabob and charred! If you have any tips/suggestions/rants, please share with poor, deprived me.

Oh yes, this feels pretty awkward. But I'd really appreciate it if you start an argument with me. It'll be very intellectually stimulating both ways.

If I'm sounding up myself, sorry- that's not my intention. But do tell me if I am. I'll add that to the list.

Hey, it's Saturday. What did you expect? My life isn't a soapie.

2008-08-30T01:31:00.000-07:00

Nothing particularly interesting happened, but since the newness of having a blog hasn't worn off yet, I thought I'd post some dustbunnies up.

If found this stuff on the net last week (when I was SUPPOSED to be studying for my exams):

Maryse has a story about first-year students at Texas A's Vet School who were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead cow.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, "In Vet Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: the first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body."

For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth.

"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger.

Now--learn to pay attention."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If anyone who reads this has seen one of those blurbs they write about the performers in a program, you'd get this one:

Otherwise, *shrugs*

Reprinted without permission from Edmonton Centre newsletter, Canada, and Canadian RCCO newsletter.The following program notes are from an unidentified piano recital.

Tonight's page turner, Ruth Spelke, studied under Ivan Schmertnick at the Boris Nitsky School of Page Turning in Philadelphia. She has been turning pages here and abroad for many years for some of the world's leading pianists.

In 1988, Ms. Spelke won the Wilson Page Turning Scholarship, which sent her to Israel to study page turning from left to right. She is winner of the 1984 Rimsky Korsakov Flight of the Bumblebee Prestissimo Medal, having turned 47 pages in an unprecedented 32 seconds. She was also a 1983 silver medalist at the Klutz Musical Page Pickup Competition: contestants retrieve and rearrange a musical score dropped from a Yamaha. Ms. Spelke excelled in "grace, swiftness, and especially poise."

For techniques, Ms. Spelke performs both the finger-licking and the bent-page corner methods. She works from a standard left bench position, and is the originator of the dipped-elbow page snatch, a style used to avoid obscuring the pianist's view of the music. She is page turner in residence in Fairfield Iowa, where she occupies the coveted Alfred Hitchcock Chair at the Fairfield Page Turning Institute.

Ms. Spelke is married, and has a nice house on a lake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~l

This one is for Georgina, the hopeless romantic : (yes, I'm sad enough to dedicate something to someone)

Hans refers us to a local newspaper ran a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... but the least romantic second line. Here are some of the entries they received.

I thought that I could love no other

Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

Sugar is sweet, and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,

The sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Oh loving beauty you float with grace

If only you could hide your face

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;

This describes everything you are not

I want to feel your sweet embrace

But don't take that paper bag off of your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -

Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:

Marrying you screwed up my life

I see your face when I am dreaming.

That's why I always wake up screaming <-- i like this one

My love, you take my breath away.

What have you stepped in to smell this way <--my fav

My feelings for you no words can tell,

Except for maybe "go to hell"

What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime

******

I am more in my arsenal...(pheer me!)

If anyone finds these remotely funny, drop me a comment and I'll put more on.

Sorry about the inconsistent font, by the way. I was copying and pasting all these stuff.

Does anyone know how select all/paste stuff in the post entry box (where you type your entry in before you submit it)? For some reason, all the text goes to the bottom of the page instead of the box. Strange and annoying.

Welcome! I say this to the empty air.

2008-08-29T04:12:00.000-07:00

Deja vu.

Sometimes I wonder why people say I'm cynical. I can be disgustingly idealistic sometimes, like now. By that I mean- creating ANOTHER blog. After abandoning my old one. 3 years ago.

Blame it on umm..Pak Angkasar. *MASSIVE COUGH INDUCED BY ACUTE BRONCHITIS ON TOP OF CHRONIC BRONCHITIS*

I certainly do.

I can't believe I'm starting a blog at my age. Heh, do I sound like an old hag? I'm in Year 11, product of MLC High School, Australia. Just finished my yearlys. I'll probably look back on the blog in a month time and go "starting a blog? In Year 11?! (yr 12 next year!omfg *flails and dies*) What WAS I thinking?! *DELETE*"

Ah well, seems like this is going to be a half-baked attempt from the start. Most probably, I won't have the time/energy, caused by my hectic, nerdy, senior-high-school existence, to update this blog on any semblance of regularly. (1 cookie to you if you understood the incoherent babble that was my last sentence!)

If worse comes to worst, I'll just put some trite (but amusing, in my humble opinion) jokes I found over the internets as updates. So don't abandon me yet. Just don't expect Grecian philosophy and poetry from my blog. I dunno about emo-ness and teenage angst. Haven't decided yet.

So yeah! Umm...spread the word! Socially retarded Cindy is starting a blog! She'd hate to be all lonesome in her corner of the nuthouse, so come in and visit if you so incline!